Full

Today I had one of the best sacrament meetings of my life. I arrived about fifteen minutes prior to the start, and sat there contemplating as the girl played hymns on the piano. No one came up and tried to talk to me, and so I was given time to think and prepare to partake of the sacrament.

Then, we sang the spirit of god. There are stories of the Kirtland temple dedication, and how when the song was being sung, the roof appeared to burn with fire--I felt like this was one of those moments. I could feel the song coming true in my life and I knew that angels were in attendance. The feeling was so full that I wasn't able to finish the song, as my throat closed tight on me.

Next, the passing of the sacrament itself, which was extended longer than normal by the need to bless additional water. Although I cannot honestly say I was thinking much upon it, as my mind was caught up other thoughts. Two hymns (Hymn #29, and then #134) were the focus of my thoughts as I pondered upon the latter I thought about it's author's last General Conference address given in the second year of my life.

As I sat and thought about these I had the impression that I was full, filled too far already and could not easily accept any further truth or knowledge. Then a young woman from Slovakia got up and spoke. Very rarely have I heard such eloquent teaching in a student ward sacrament meeting, and her stories and doctrine were relevant and sound. Honestly, I was blown away by the spirit she emanated.

After that there was a musical number, "Consider the Lilys" which I am told was rather excellent, although I didn't pay much attention to it, and then a high councilman spoke. I'm not normally impressed by high council speakers, and he was a pale orator compared to the girl he followed but again, it was sound doctrine, and I learned much from it, including several realizations of things I need to improve.

And then the meeting was closed and I sat there, amazed.

I'm not much of a cryer, yeah... I cry during movies, but rarely and few people see that, so it's a little disconcerting to be caught in the middle of 200 people crying, but how can you not after a spiritual high like that?

I pondered this as I read the words of the talk I mentioned earlier his raspy voice audible in my head as I recalled them:

In speaking of these wondrous things I will use my own words. Though you might think these are the words of scripture, words spoken by other Apostles and Prophets, true it is that they were first proclaimed by others, but they are now mine. For the Holy Spirit of God has born witness to me that they are true and it is now as though the Lord has revealed them to me in the first instance. I have thereby heard his voice and know his word.
...
And now as pertaining to this perfect Atonement, I testify that it took place at Gethsemane and at Golgotha. And as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God who was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person. I am one of his Witnesses. And in the coming day I will feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God's almighty Son and he is our Savior and Redeemer and that Salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way.

I realized that I had never sought after a fullness before, always being content with satiated, and there was more that I needed to ask about, more that I needed to know, that I might say I have heard his voice, and know his word. That it might be revealed to me first.