What is it about writing a message that is possible to be read, but is highly unlikely that makes me feel so relieved. I do this ALL the time. A thousand "as you wish moments" when in my head I'm thinking: "Read: I love you." I've done it all my life, at least as long as I can remember. The ability to send the message into the void, to say: "Give it up, you're only going to be disappointed again." In a way that no one else can read gives me comfort.
Yes, I want someone to read it, but I want them to pay for that information. That's not entirely fair I suppose. So... sorry Sarah (since you're the only person who reads this) this is going to be a list of the secret messages I post and what they mean.
The first one:
$3 79 81 *2 *2 60 79 47 (4 93 *2 (4 81 *e 79 04 $3 15 *2 79 93 *2 79 36 (4 79 36 *2 04 04 79 93 *2 79 $3 36 79 14 $3 04 04 79 82 *2 79 &1 04 58 $3 48 37 36.
I need someone like me to tell me everything is alright. (Someone who sees pain.)
The second one:
92 (4 @5 58 79 &1 58 *2 79 26 @5 47 36 79 47 *2 36 36 $3 81 46 79 92 (4 @5 58 47 *2 04 59 79 @5 70 79 59 (4 58 &1 81 (4 36 37 *2 58 79 60 $i 47 &1 70 70 (4 $3 81 36 93 *2 81 36.
Your just going to be disappointed again, stop trying. (not an exact translation)
And the third one, which I'm only posting here.
Why do I always do this to myself, I pick the girl I can't have. I'm sorry Taryn I don't really want you, I just know you're safe to like because of your age, attachment and because I didn't feel alone that night, and I have felt alone for so long.
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